People are drawn to love stories. “How did you two meet?What is your story?” We’re captivated by the romance and hooked by the uniqueness of each individual’s tale. There is something about seeing a couple- advanced in years- walking and holding hands that stirs people’s hearts and makes them long for that same kind of life long companionship. When we are young, we search and search for that special person who we can grow old with.
On Thursday, I was told a different kind of love story…
My Khmer teacher, Kenal, shared with me the story of her own parents. Their marriage had been arranged by the leader of the Khmer Rouge- Pol Pot himself! In the span of 4 years, this man led the Khmer Rouge to murder over 1.7 million fellow Khmer people because he sought to create a new- utopia-type civilization in Cambodia. Kenal’s own father was in his young twenties when he was forced into hard labor in the country side of Cambodia. His own parents were killed along with 3 siblings. In order to survive, he would steal food and divide it between himself and his two sisters. Pol Pot then selected him to get married to another selected partner and he was among 40 other couples who participated in the mass marriage procedure for that day. No wedding celebration- simply the legalities, because Pol Pot wanted them to have children.
“If Pol Pot led his army to kill thousands of people, including babies and children, why would he want to arrange all these marriages?” I asked Kenal.
“He killed everyone who was educated. Now he wanted to start over and manipulate the new generation of babies and children that would come from these marriages.” She replied.
Her mom and dad had never met before they were forced into “life-long commitment”.
It’s been almost 30 years. In a time when the divorce rate is nearly 50% we all the more celebrate couples who have been married for 30 years! While the story of Kenal’s parents is shocking it is also beautiful. They worked hard in a relationship they had no choice in and grew to love each other deeply. The fruit of their labor spreads farther than they will ever know! Their daughter has played an important role in my time here in Cambodia and I love studying with her each morning. (Emphasis on the with her, rather than the studying ) I seriously cannot imagine being here without Kenal! I am thankful that God protected her mom and dad and brought them together in a different, yet beautiful love story.
“Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Sam. 16:7
Why is it that man is never called to judge, but only to love? Is it because there is nothing worth judging? Of course not! Evil is Real. Sin is Real. Judgment is called for, but man is not given that responsibility- Judgment is reserved for the Creator himself, and it makes sense why. Only God, who created hearts, who knows the inner depths of hearts, could possibly be able to actually judge hearts. As humans, we tend to judge the heart based on the external appearance because that is all our limited vision can see. Our job; MY job- to Love. (**Qualifier- love is not synonymous with ignoring issues or being passive when you see a person you care about engaging in wrongful activity. Love is not blind- it chooses to see the “dirt” and accept the person where they are at. It chooses to enter into the mess and journey forward.)
Let me tell you about a heart that I love...
Bong Peul (not actual name) was recently promoted to team leader in his department. I have watched him step up and really take this position seriously. He works hard and is doing an incredible job. When I see him, he greets me with a huge smile and friendly hello. He has a pleasant spirit and kind heart. During workshop on Thursday, Bong Peul shared how he believes that God has a plan for his life and has the right person for him. He believes that one day he will get married and have a family… Bong Peul has thick, long hair that comes almost all the way down his back. His nails are often painted, and his tight fitting “Cute Girls” shirt with skinny jeans appears to be a favorite outfit. From an outside stance, one would look at Bong Peul and simply identify that he’s a ladyboy, or transgender. This “identity” has caused him to be ostracized, belittled, and abused. Mistreated.Misunderstood. and Misjudged.
“Back up a second, didn’t you say that he believes in God? Why is he still dressing like a girl, why is he still acting like a girl? I thought he said he wanted a wife and family?” Let me pause here a moment: I can hardly tell you just how much I am learning and how much more I crave to learn! I’m just in the beginning stages, but want to share part of this journey of learning and my own convictions. I know this topic is controversial and has the potential to raise a lot of blood pressures, but I would rather ruffle some feathers, agree to disagree, or have some healthy pushback than simply not talk about the topic because it’s messy.
I’m currently reading a book by a man named Andrew Comiskey, who shares his own story about engaging in a lifestyle of homosexuality and his journey to Christ and pursuing sexual wholeness. “Journey” and “wholeness” – these words do not describe a simple or orderly process for anyone; neither does anyone fully “arrive” at either in this life. However, that does not diminish God’s power to heal hearts and lead lives. Comiskey’s story has been challenging and enlightening for me.
He says, “defining a person as a homosexual seems to give homosexual feelings inordinate power to identify them.” Instead of referring to people as “homosexual”, he says that the individual has “homosexual tendencies” or “feelings”. The “feelings” are not the same as the person. I had never thought of this separation before, but it is profound, not just in regards to homosexuality but for any struggle a person might have.
Jealousy, discontentment, pride… these are all feelings which I discover frequently trying to take hold of my mind and heart. I do not wear these feelings externally, like Bong Peul in his favorite girl-style clothes, and I often hide behind the false pretense that what cannot be physically seen is not actually there. Or, what cannot be seen is at least not as bad…But what happens when I allow the mirror to penetrate to my insides and expose the feelings within? Am I doomed to simply be a jealous person my whole life?Discontent person? Prideful person? Do those feelings define who I am?
What if someone came to me and said, “Jenny, you can’t help that you feel discontentment. That’s just how God made you and you need to come out of the closet and embrace who you are- a discontent person…”
"Hm.." I think to myself, "well God created me, so that must mean if I am a discontent person at my core then he created me this way and he said everything he created is good, so being a discontent person must actually be ok… even Good for me!" Recognize this logic? I may struggle with feelings of discontentment, but that does not mean that I am a discontent person. Those feelings may be so strong within me and a constant temptation and struggle- but I am not the same as those feelings.
It appears to me that society’s attempts to set people free as “homosexuals” actually does the opposite- it binds them to a particular set of feelings and implies that those feelings are a part of the root of their identity. To deny their feelings would be to deny who they are! So a person who may already be wrestling with who they are and what is “normal” may feel all the more pressured and confused by the message that they Are what they Feel.
Let’s add Christianity to the mix and the issue becomes even more complicated and confusing for people. The person with homosexual feelings is told that homosexual relations are wrong and simultaneously told- if you feel homosexual attraction then that is whoyouare. They are left to conclude that who they are at their core is wrong if they follow the Christian way. They see no place for themselves in Christianity because how can they stop being who they are? I think the answer is not to deny the feelings or declare that the feelings are even wrong, but to deny that the person’s identity is tied to any set of feelings they have, sexual or other.
Let’s acknowledge these homosexual feelings and help individuals who desire differently learn how to respond to their feelings in a way that honors the Lord,the same way I need to respond to my feelings of jealousy, discontentment or pride in a way that honors the Lord. Suppressing feelings or glorifying them are extremes to be avoided.
Why the Glorification??
I think society’s tendency to glorify the “homosexual” rises out of defense for real people who have been marginalized,mistreated, and abused due to a common link of same-sex attraction. What if all the “jealous people” were grouped up and abused too? The treatment is wrong. Period. But defending mistreated people does not mean glorifying the very thing for which they are mistreated. Mistreatment and homosexual feelings are two separate categories.
One is always wrong.
The mistreatment.
The latter should be taken for what it is. Feelings. Having feelings and acting on feelings are two very different categories.
Let’s set individuals free by not binding them to their feelings.
Let’s not run away from people who feel feelings that are foreign to feelings we personally experience.
Let’s not assume that all feelings lead to action.
Who I am is set- created by God. I cannot change who I am, but I can change my response to feelings.
Instead of anger- love. Instead of jealousy- thankfulness. Instead of pride-humility.
Only through the power of Jesus! I am not suggesting the feelings are not Powerful! However, they are not the person.
“Intense sexual feeling cannot alone determine what is basically true about one’s sexuality and one’s humanity in general… the power of the feelings at hand must be faced. And having faced it, each struggler needs to submit the reality of those impulses to the Creator, to grant Him His rightful place as Lord and Redeemer of the struggle” (Comiskey)
“People with a heterosexual orientation are no less fallen than those with homosexual tendencies” (Comiskey)
It has been said to me, “Jenny, I can dress like a boy and act like a boy on the outside, but that doesn’t change how I feel inside. I only feel 10% of a man nature…”
“Jenny, I would like to be a man again, please pray I stop having the love for the men…”
What do you do when you have conflicting desires? You want to respond in love but all you feel is anger? You want to act with patience but all you feel is irritation? You want to be a man, but all you feel is girl?
God does not wait for the “angry person” to stop feeling angry before he comes to them. God does not wait for the “impatient person” to rid themselves of all impatience before he comes. God is not judging Bong Peul by the clothes he wears, but rather, God is most interested in his Heart. Dressing like a boy, getting a boy style haircut… these are good actions only if they are manifestations of the state of the heart. They are virtually meaningless if separated from the heart, if they are just a means to please others and conform to the expectations of others.
Bong Peul is learning more about the God who created him and loves him; right now, right where he is at, regardless of hair or dress. Bong Peul is an inspiration to me. He has a hope for a future which contradicts current feelings, current desires, current struggles. Isn’t that what faith is? Being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see? The journey may be long, it may be intense and full of deep valleys, but it is a journey that God will not abandon. I am incredibly honored to be a small part of that journey.
As Laura and I were running, our arms swinging back and forth driving us forward, I thought about how strange body parts would look if they weren’t “normal”. For example; what if it wasn’t normal to have two arms or any arms at all? If it was normal for humans not to have any arms, and one day I met someone with two arms, I would probably look at them with extreme disgust and curiosity. “Ewe, that person has two really long branches of skin coming out of their sides!” I mean, really, it would probably appear grotesque! But that is only because I would be accustomed to human beings not having arms at all.
These thoughts caused me to flashback to pictures I had seen at the Vietnam War Remnants museum in Vietnam back in October. The pictures were of children who had been affected by the poisonous gas bombs dropped by the U.S during the war. Men and women who were exposed to this gas had children born with extreme deformities. I was horrified when I saw these pictures. I never knew that a person could survive and live with such deformities. I never knew that the human body could create such extreme and “abnormal” mutations.
Next, my mind flashed to scenes from “The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.” Our team had recently watched this movie, and of course Narnia is a land full of “abnormal”, yet wonderful creatures. I thought of Tumnus, the fawn. Body of a man, legs of an animal, and two horns coming out of his head. He becomes a beloved character in the story, yet what would it be like if I saw Tumnus in the U.S today? (or anywhere in the world really.) It would be like seeing a person with 2 arms if you are accustomed to not having arms at all.
Then this question came into my head: I wonder if those men and women who were affected by the poisonous gas, if the men and women born with extreme deformities actually more closely resemble heavenly beings than my own “normal” body? The one head, 2 arms, 2 legs, torso model of a being may only represent one small class of created beings in God’s country. Isn’t that why C.S. Lewis creates so many types of beings in the world of Narnia? Because our God is not limited to one cookie cutter mold? I find myself pitying these people because they don’t get to look like me and experience some of the things in life that I deem to be what make life great, yet perhaps my vision is just stuck in one tiny ruby amidst a galaxy of jewels. I am not trying to minimize some of the devastating affects that resulted from the gas bombs and from the deformities themselves. I am trying to expand my understanding of a big God who is not restricted by our limited vision and perspective of “normalcy”.
Revelation 4:6-8 “In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle. Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying:
“Holy, holy, holy
is the Lord God Almighty,’
who was, and is, and is to come.”
Creatures covered in eyes, some with 6 wings also covered in eyes?? EWE! Honestly, that sounds so strange and unattractive to me, but why? Because I have two eyes and I have never seen a person with more than two eyes. God is going to blow my mind when He introduces me to all of his creation! So, next time I meet someone who looks a little different from the “standard” human, I need to give thanks! Perhaps, I have been given the privilege of meeting a Heavenly being.
The past month I have felt frozen in regard to blogging and even general communication with friends and family back home. Every day here is just a new day walking with Jesus. Sometimes these days bring extraordinary challenges and other times the challenges seem quite ordinary. Big or small, the challenges are real and always moving me towards becoming more of my real self; more of who God created me to be. Every day is filled with different joys, again, extraordinary and seemingly ordinary. Every day I have numerous reasons to give thanks to God. Yet when it comes to sharing these joys and challenges sometimes I feel like I have a million stories and insights to share and nothing to say at the same time. Thus, I have felt frozen and I am sorry! Let me just share with you about one day here in Cambodia. An ordinary day made extraordinary simply because it is another day of God’s presence and active work in my life and lives of people around me, even when that work is unseen.
Welcome to Monday, January 2nd in the life of Jenny Rasmussen. The alarm went off at 5:43 a.m.and I woke up feeling crabby and annoyed that I had to wake up before the sun, my Khmer neighbors and even the roosters themselves! I walked groggily down the stairs and joined the rest of my team for morning prayer. “Ok, Lord, I’m truly desperate for you this morning” I thought, “I need your strength and attitude for this day because I’ve got nothing but crankiness inside of myself.” You know, it’s also really hard to
complain about anything while reading “The Hiding Place” by Corrie Tenboom. Corrie tells her story ofbeing in one of the worst concentration camps with her sister, Betsie, in Ravensbruck, Germany during the Holocaust. On Sunday, I had just read about Betsie telling Corrie that they needed to give thanks in ALL circumstances, and so they needed to thank God for everything they could in the concentration camp. If Corrie and Betsie could thank God for the fleas in their concentration camp then I certainly should have no difficulty in thanking God for an opportunity to wake up before the sun and reflect on all of the blessings and gifts he has lavished on me! By the end of prayer time I felt renewed in my spirit and ready to head out the gates of our house; first destination- Khmer class.
9:30 a.m.-Heather, Laura and I got on our bikes and headed to Olympic Stadium for a morning run. Riding bikes here feels a little like being in a video game. The goal of the game- get to your destination without running into anything or anything running into you. The obstacles- lots of motos rushing around, other bicyclists, large cars, people walking, parked cars on the side of the road, and random potholes in the road.
Both Laura and Heather were riding ahead of me and I was pedaling along when suddenly a car door was opened in my face, and without time to swerve around the door, I found myself falling, as if in slow motion, into the middle of the street. God’s protection was strong around me, because there were no other motos or cars coming at that time, and I quickly hopped up and got out of the street. The guy who owned the car felt awful and apologized profusely. I was shaken up but ok and told him that God protected me and that it was alright. I got back on my bike and returned home, where I realized the gate was locked, I had no keys, and the girls didn’t have their phones. “This is an opportunity to let someone help you,” I thought. I decided to go to DP! (The little corner car wash and coffee shop. I used to go there a lot to study Khmer and became friends with the two Khmer girls who work there every day.) I was greeted warmly by the girls and I explained in Khmer what happened. The girls took good care of me and helped me clean my cuts. I felt blessed by them! Back on my bike I headed, once again, to Olympic Stadium. I knew the girls would be worried about me ifI never showed up and I wanted to get back on my bike as soon as I could before a fear set in. Let me tell you, I had no problem giving thanks and praising God now! I was able to enjoy a good, relaxing run with Laura and felt like God gave me some new thoughts and insights to reflect on. (I’ll save those for another blog )
I had just finished running when I saw a boy I had met on Christmas Eve when Elise and I had come to the stadium to play tennis. I found out his name was Cheeit. Looking at my bloodied leg, Cheeit immediately asked me what happened. I told him the story and then told him that I was very thankful to Jesus for protecting me. When I said the name of Jesus, the boy’s eyes seemed to light up. I asked him if he knew of Jesus. He said he did, but I could not understand what else he said about Him. With my limited Khmer vocabulary, I shared with Cheeit very simply about who Jesus is and how Jesus loves Cheeit soo soo much and wants to live with him forever. I don’t know if he understood what I was saying but Cheeit listened intently, and the look in his eyes gave me a feeling that he understood, maybe better than I could ever know. “Lord, translate to his heart whatever you want him to hear and to know.” I told him I needed to go find my friend but maybe I could teach him how to play tennis some time. I left to find Laura and soon after there was Cheeit coming towards us. We talked with him some more and found out that both of Cheeit’s parents had died and that he doesn’t have any brothers or sisters. He said he lives around Olympic Stadium and sleeps by the tennis courts.
There is something about this boy that I don’t really know how to explain. His situation is obviously very sad, yet he did not appear sad in his spirit. I have met many children here who are without parents and without a home. They have been trained to exploit their story and situation for money. When they see me they don’t see a person they see a dollar sign. Perhaps they have never been treated like a person either, I’m not sure. Usually, as soon as they realize they aren’t going to receive money they leave, with no further interest in conversation or friendship. Even as I was running earlier, I went past some kids who yelled, “hello! Give me a dollar!” Yet Cheeit seemed different. He was not quick to “tell his sad tale” and he never asked for a cent. He just seemed happy to be with us and talk with us. Laura and I asked Cheeit if he was hungry and if he would like to eat lunch with us at the food stand by the stadium. He said “baa” (yes) and hopped quickly down the stairs.
It was so enjoyable to just sit and be with Cheeit at lunch. I was trying to tell him that I used to long jump, because there’s a long jump pit at the stadium. I got up and acted it out and Cheeit said something I couldn’t understand, but he was just laughing and laughing. Joy! “Thank you God that my bike accident did not keep me from this moment with Laura and Cheeit. Thank you God that the scrapes on me knee actually led to conversation about You!” Laura and I said goodbye to Cheeit and began to bike home. We both talked about the warmth we felt from Cheeit. “Cheeit has so little, yet I wonder if Jesus fills him with greater joy and fullness of being than we could know? Protect this boy, Lord!”
Just another ordinary and not so ordinary day in Kampochia…
“Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name; make known among the nations what he has done”(1 Chronicles 16:8).
I am a born and raised city girl from Phoenix, Arizona. You want to bake something? I can tell you 5 grocery stores within a 5 minute radius of my house that will have almost every ingredient or food item you could want or need. In Cambodia, baking becomes a little trickier. I can still get to a store within 5-10 minutes, but the search for “common” ingredients is usually a frustrating scavenger hunt and waste of time. So I have learned to get creative, however; some items just do not substitute well. Last week a package arrived from my family. “Could it be?” I thought, “were they able to send the main item I had requested and hoped for?” I cut open the box and there it was! Right on top- happiness in a bag; a giant, Sam’s Club bag of real chocolate chips! There was jumping and celebration in our house that day We were ready for Thanksgiving Extravaganza!
What does Thanksgiving Extravaganza look like in Cambodia?
Saturday, November 26th, at 6 p.m. about 35 men, women and children from all over the world gathered at our home for a Thanksgiving potluck. Friends fromAustralia, England, Denmark, Cambodia, and various states in the U.S; a glimpse of Heavenly parties to come! People of different nationalities, different ages, different organizations, different visions and reasons for living in Cambodia, but united by the same God. Many people asked what Thanksgiving was all about. It was good to reflect on my country’s history and the reasons behind why we celebrate this day each year, besides being a good excuse to eat incredible food!
So, I know what you are thinking, “what did you eat??” Well, there
was no turkey on our table, but we had a giant platter of delicious chicken we got from the market! Stuffing, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, various salads and Rolls! Many traditional items plus some foods to add to the tradition like, sweet and sour pork and Cambodian fruit salad! Don’t forget the dessert table! Homemade brownies, pumpkin-chocolate chip bars, chocolate chip banana bread, (as you can see the chocolate chips were put to good use) and, YES, pumpkin pie! (I also learned how to make pumpkin puree from real pumpkins- definitely not something this city girl ever had to do before!)
“I love Thanksgiving! I think we will have to start celebrating this holiday in Denmark.” - a new Thanksgiving fan
It was so much fun sharing a feast together with new friends, but what made this evening really special was celebrating our thankfulness for the Giver of every good gift. God pours out numerous blessings every day over each one of his children and our spirits were uplifted and encouraged as we shared about these blessings with one another!
The last guests left just after midnight. The stairs to the second floor are on the outside of our house, and as Helen and I were heading to our rooms we looked up to see one final thanksgiving present from our Giver of gifts; the brightest night sky we had yet to see in Phnom Penh. One star; one special star, shone exceptionally bright that night and we just stared up and thanked God for this heavenly goodnight kiss.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17).
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:7-8).
It was a Friday night, and a group of us went out for ice cream with our Khmer teacher. She is 24 years old and has been teaching at LEC (Language Exchange Cambodia) for three years now. It was fun just talking about life and laughing together; just being silly together. She had told us before that she was a Christian, which definitely is not popular here in Cambodia where more than 80% of the population claims devotion to Buddha.
“ Niek Krew” (the title used to address your teacher in Khmer- I will use this title instead of her name) Can I ask you a question about being a Christian?”
“Yes,” she replied. “How did you know that Jesus was real and true and Buddha was not? What made you choose God over Buddha?”
A big smile came over Niek Krew’s face. I wish I had a picture of that smile or could capture it in words. That smile in itself testifies that the living God’s work is real and brings joy!
“It was his love” she said simply.
IT WAS HIS LOVE
Niek Krew went on, “Before I knew Jesus, I felt lonely. I did not feel loved by anyone and I did not feel love for anyone. (In class, Niek Krew had told us that she has never heard her parents tell her that they loved her. This is common in Cambodia, as people don’t say I love you often.) I didn’t really even care. When I learned about God’s love, this all changed.”
Me- “How did your family respond when they found out that you were a Christian?” Niek Krew- “They were angry at first. Now they are ok and have accepted it.” Me- “Is it hard to be a Christian here in Cambodia?” Niek Krew- “Yes. My friends did not understand. People would either make fun of me, or stop really talking to me.” Me- “How else has being a Christian affected your relationships with people?” Niek Krew- “Khmer people usually do not talk to each other when they have a problem. They let the problem build up in their heart. Before I was a Christian, I had a roommate and I got upset with her so I just left and didn’t live with her anymore. Now, I am a Christian, and I live with Christian roommates. When we have a problem, we talk about it. It feels good in my heart.”
Niek Krew is smart. She dreams of being a lawyer so that she can go back into her home province and help the poor families there. She also hopes to attend WheatonCollegein Illinoisthrough their international teacher exchange program. I asked her if I could share her story with friends and family back home as an encouragment. She said she was happy for me to tell her testimony I feel privileged to know her!
Story 2
When I called, you answered me; you greatly emboldened me (Psalm 138:3).
Last week, Kelsey and I were at the park, drawing. We gathered quite a crowd over the course of the afternoon (I suppose 2 white girls, sitting and drawing in the park isn’t exactly a common site in Cambodia lol.) There was a group of young adults who came over and we found out that one of the young men was a Christian. Like Niek Krew, I asked him, “How did you know that Jesus was real and true and Buddha was not? What made you choose God over Buddha?”
He smiled and there was a light in his eyes I would best describe as authenticity.
“When I pray, he answers me.”
Simple as that. When he would pray to Buddha, Buddha would not answer him. When he prays to the living God, he receives an answer.
Like Niek Krew, he said it was difficult to be a Christian in Cambodia because people where he was from would get mad. Yet, the anger and rejection of people was not enough for this young man or Niek Krew to trade in their relationship with the One True God, they knew to be alive and real by His love and faithful answers.
God is love. Real love is only experienced through knowing God. Buddha is a statue, a mindset. Buddha cannot love or do anything. I do not think Buddhists expect Buddha to love. I have never heard a Khmer person say, “I know Buddha loves me”. I have only heard statements of uncertain hope, “If I give sacrifices, then I hope that Buddha will bring me good luck”. What will bring down the idols in this nation? God’s real love. Ceramic cannot stand under the glorious, rich, fulfilling reality of God’s love.
Lord, God,
I come before you on behalf of "Srey Mali". Set a protection around her life, around her body and around her heart. She is 14, what a vulnerable age. God, may her story not include nights of abuse, molestation or rape. I pray that she has parents who treasure her beauty as you do and seek to protect and preserve her. Let the money she gets from selling fruit truly go towards school! Protect her from theives. There was just something about her smile and her eyes that made me feel like I was looking directly at your son, Jesus. Her smile was joy itself. Her eyes- light and hope. If she has not met you yet, send her a divine appointment. For where your light is present- NO DARKNESS can get through. God, send your angel armies to her bedside. May she know you. May she know your love! I may never get to see her again in this life, but I want to spend eternity in your kingdom getting to know this precious girl.
To your glory,
Amen
“This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD:“Listen to the terms of this covenant and tell them to the people of Judah and to those who live in Jerusalem.Tell them that this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘Cursed is the one who does not obey the terms of this covenant—the terms I commanded your ancestors when I brought them out of Egypt, out of the iron-smelting furnace.’ I said, ‘Obey me and do everything I command you, and you will be my people, and I will be your God.Then I will fulfill the oath I swore to your ancestors, to give them a land flowing with milk and honey’—the land you possess today” ( Jeremiah 11:1-5).
The road to the land flowing with milk and honey was never intended to be paved with roses, marked by skipping or a walk of ease. The journey was always going to be a trek through the wilderness, but God wanted to bring his children to greater depths of intimacy with him by sustaining His people in that wilderness journey through utter dependency on Himself. Yet the children were not interested in the wilderness walk with God; they wanted ease, so they chose to break their covenant. They chose disobedience. In His divine love, God still did not abandon them but continued to lead them toward their promised land, yet in their effort to obtain “ease” they threw themselves into greater weariness and pain. For, not only did they still have to face the wilderness terrain, but now they were plagued by the famine of their heart and drought of their soul. They did not allow themselves to be fed and filled by God in the way he had originally intended.
Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baka, they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with blessings. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.
Psalm 84: 5-7
The Valley of Baka was known for being dry and without water all year long. In this Psalm, David does not say that God filled the valley with springs for the people, but that through His strength they made it a place of springs and God sent autumn rains to also cover the valley with blessings. How do you create springs of water in a desert? I believe these springs come from three intentional heart actions. (3 main points… that’s what you get from the daughter of a pastor! )
Faithful obedience. God told his children, “obey me. Keep all of my commandments. And you will be my people and I will be your God.” We find springs in the desert as we obey God. “This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3).
Pressing into God’s strength: get on your knees, cry out to God in desperation. We were created to live in constant desperation for God, utter dependence on His strength. This kind of desperation produces springs of water.
“I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). Paul is not saying this as some inspirational- “reach for the stars”, “you can do anything you put your mind to” type of quote. Paul is saying that the reason he can be content in any and everycircumstance- whether in great need or having plenty, great pain or freedom from pain- is that God’s strength is always enough! In the wilderness, God’s strength is enough.
Thankfulness. An attitude of thanksgiving is powerful. It was not a typo when Paul said that we are to give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thes. 5:18). He did not mean to say, “give thanks when you feel good, or when life is really going your way, or when you feel super spiritual…” No. All circumstances. Plain and simple.
**This does not necessarily mean giving thanks for all circumstances. God can use even the worst evil for his glory, but sin is never God’s plan. We don’t need to thank God for the sin, for the evil, but we can always thank God that He will work all things for the good of those who love him for His own purposes! (Romans 8:28). Sin is not more powerful than God.
God did not spare even his own, beloved son from suffering, so why do we think we would be spared? Jesus suffered before he was ever nailed to the cross. His entire life he was misunderstood, judged, mistreated and slandered. We then should not be surprised when we are misunderstood, judged, mistreated and slandered.
“Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” Romans 8:17
"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first -wanting to be the center- wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. . . . What Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they could 'be like gods'- could set up on their own as if they had created themselves- be their own master- invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history- money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery- the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.
The reason why it can never succeed is this. God made us: invented us as a man invents an engine. A car is made to run on petrol, and it would not run properly on anything else. Now God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other. That is why it is just no good asking God to make us happy in our own way without bothering about religion. Godcannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.
That is the key to history, Terrific energy is expended- civilizations are built up- excellent institutions are devised; but each time something goes wrong. Some fatal flaw always brings the selfish and cruel people to the top and it all slides back into misery and ruin. In fact, the machine conks. It seems to start up all right and runs a few yards, and then it breaks down. They are trying to run it on the wrong juice. That is what Satan has done to us humans" (C.S. Lewis, “Mere Christianity”).
We have a choice. What will our pilgrimage through the wilderness look like? Will we make springs of water; will we move from strength to strength in the Lord? Or will we throw up our hands and declare, “ I never signed up for this wilderness stuff!” and try to seek out happiness and ease for ourselves? It can never be found apart from God, yet it is still our choice to search.
Still I was not humble enough to take the humble Jesus as my God; nor did I know what his taking our weak nature was supposed to teach us. Your Word, the eternal truth, overtops the highest peaks of your creation; and he lifts up those of low degree to himself. Yet he stooped to this human clay of ours and built himself a humble habitation that he might win to himself all who are willing to surrender their own selves. He would heal men of the tumors of their pride. He would nurture their love so they would not become overconfident of their strength, but would recognize their own weakness when they saw before their eyes Divinity himself in his weakness. He shared our coats of skin, so that we would wearily throw ourselves upon his humanity, and so find ourselves lifted up by his resurrection.(The Confessions of Augustine)
Lord, come hang out with us today. Draw Somali to yourself through Steph and I. Even when I don’t have the words to say, you speak. May we leave Somali feeling touched by a divine love that she has never before experienced. As we celebrate her birthday, I ask that you would shower her with your eternal gifts and eternal treasures.
Steph and I had only met Somali (name changed) once before, about 6 weeks ago. She had been walking with an older foreign man (her friend’s boyfriend she said) close to the bar where she works. A few of us were there with a group called “Male Sex Tourism” to talk with foreigners about prostitution and sex trafficking, as the “women of Cambodia” have become an indirectly advertised tourism attraction to draw foreigners to the city. Steph had been able to use her Khmer to start a conversation with Somali and at the end the two exchanged phone numbers. We were both excited for the chance to finally hang out with her!
On my way to meet Steph, I rode my bike to the market to buy flowers for Somali. I placed the flowers in my basket and pulled out onto the road and within 5 feet of riding the flowers fell out of my basket, onto the ground and I accidentally biked over them. One of the tuk tuk drivers who witnessed my embarrassing little accident started laughing and quickly handed me the flowers. Fortunately only a few suffered injuries and I continued on my way.
As Steph and I drove in the tuk tuk I felt nervous. “What if I don’t recognize her? Will it be awkward that I can’t speak very much khmer? How do Khmer people ‘hang out’?” We arrived at City Mall and it wasn’t long before we saw Somali’s smiling face heading towards us. I handed her the flowers and we all hugged in excitement to see each other again. It was just natural, like being reunited with an old friend. We headed upstairs to the food court for lunch. It was fun to just talk! Somali knew some English, Steph could communicate really well in Khmer, and I was encouraged by how much I understood as well. We talked about life and boys… you know, just typical girl talk
After lunch we went to one of those photo booths and got goofy pictures taken together. The three of us just laughed as we looked at our different pictures and silly poses. Taking ridiculous pictures together- again, just girls being girls
We walked around the mall a bit then got ice cream. Steph asked Somali what else she was going to do that day for her birthday. She said that her and her mom were going to the Pagoda to offer sacrifices to the monks for good luck. Steph asked Somali if she knew who Jesus was. She said she did- that there was a big church by her house. Somali had been sharing with us about her frustrations with her boyfriend who claimed to “love” her, but she wasn’t feeling very loved by him. Steph was able to tell her that Jesus loves her so much more and affirm her value in Christ. Nothing forced, just natural conversation between girls about struggling to feel loved by men in their life- the same struggles talked about by girls all over the world.
Time went quickly and Steph and I needed to go. We said our goodbyes and all left our separate ways. I think the divine touch of love we had prayed for left its presence on all three of us girls.
What connects me with these khmer women? Not my language, not my skin color, often not my beliefs- just being a girl! Just being a girl is ministry in itself.
Ministry should never be something we “start” or “stop” doing but the way we naturally live out our every day life.
“Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” John 7:38
I believe that Jesus died to take on the punishment for my sins and through him I am now reconciled to God, my father. God has given me his Holy Spirit as a seal of my rescue and deliverance and eternal identity as His daughter. There is power in the spirit of God and that power is within me at all times. Belief in Jesus- salvation- produces living water that flows out of me. If water is living that means it is active, moving, getting other people wet! Everyone I come into contact with should be affected and touched by that living water. Every person should be stained by the life drops of Jesus coming out of me. Ministry is loving people here and now, where they are at simply by living life together.
The picture of ministry is not me up on my high ledge pulling the “needy” up, but walking side by side with the people around me- encouraging them to continue forward and sharing about the narrow road of joy and life. When we need to climb mountains on our road, ministry is me bending down so I can help push other people up. As Christians eager to serve, we often look for ways to “do ministry” as if we are looking for poor helpless people in the ditches that we can "rescue". I confess that I have been guilty of looking for that “poor bar girl”, “poor sex trade victim” that I can “rescue” through the power of Jesus. My heart’s desire is to “rescue” through bringing these women God’s light, God’s love, God’s life, and God’s salvation. I don’t think I have any more to offer than God, yet even though my heart’s desire is good, my mentality can become distorted and prideful, thinking that I’m pulling all of the lowly people out of their ditches in the name of God!
My desire for Somali to feel loved, treated well, and valued is not because she is some "bar girl" that needs saving and I am standing ready with my cape. Somali is simply a beautiful girl that I have had the privilege of meeting on this road I am journeying on. Ministering to her is no different than ministering to anyone else I meet or any of the girls on my team. The ministry is living life together- letting the life of my salvation overflow from my heart. It’s about girls being silly girls together!
What does reconciliation look like between countries? How do you initiate true peace and friendship?
How about a bunch of old men running around a giant field kicking a ball with each other?
Wait, that wasn’t your first idea?
Saturday, September 24th, everyone was invited to Olympic Stadium in Phnom Penh to watch asignificant soccer match.
The opponents: Cambodia vs. Thailand
Country leaders and officials from both countries put aside their suits and geared up in soccer jersey’s and high socks. The captain of each team: the prime minister of Cambodia, and the former prime minister of Thailand. The crowd went wild as these men, men with authority, ran their opening lap around the field before the start of the game. The smiles were big! Many laughed as the men competed for goals, as it was clear soccer was not their profession, but the laughter was not aimed to mock, but rather unite.
Humility.
That is the word which came to my mind over and over as I watched the game. These country leaders entered the field and suddenly they were boys again. They were just having fun! I watched as one man went to kick the ball, but tripped and landed on his back. He simply laughed and got up quickly to return to the play.
We all laughed when we saw the people in the stadium begin to do the wave. Some things in sports don’t change no matter where you are around the world! It was the best wave I have ever been apart of, as the entire stadium all around was actively involved.
By the end of the first half, Cambodia had a significant lead of 6 to 1. During the second half of the game you could see some theatrics come out as Cambodia wanted to gracefully allow Thailand to get a few more scores. This was truly a friendly game. The final score was Cambodia 10 and Thailand 7.
Friendly sports- a great way to bond people together and reconcile countries
) I seriously cannot imagine being here without Kenal! I am thankful that God protected her mom and dad and brought them together in a different, yet beautiful love story.
The past month I have felt frozen in regard to blogging and even general communication with friends and family back home. Every day here is just a new day walking with Jesus. Sometimes these days bring extraordinary challenges and other times the challenges seem quite ordinary. Big or small, the challenges are real and always moving me towards becoming more of my real self; more of who God created me to be. Every day is filled with different joys, again, extraordinary and seemingly ordinary. Every day I have numerous reasons to give thanks to God. Yet when it comes to sharing these joys and challenges sometimes I feel like I have a million stories and insights to share and nothing to say at the same time. Thus, I have felt frozen and I am sorry! Let me just share with you about one day here in Cambodia. An 
9:30 a.m.-Heather, Laura and I got on our bikes and headed to Olympic Stadium for a morning run. Riding bikes here feels a little like being in a video game.
)
I am a born and raised city girl from Phoenix, Arizona. You want to bake something? I can tell you 5 grocery stores within a 5 minute radius of my house that will have almost every ingredient or food item you could want or need. In Cambodia, baking becomes a little trickier. I can still get to a store within 5-10 minutes, but the search for “common” ingredients is usually a frustrating scavenger hunt and waste of time. So I have learned to get creative, however; some items just do not substitute well. Last week a package arrived from my family. “Could it be?” I thought, “were they able to send the main item I had requested and hoped for?” I cut open the box and there it was! Right on top- happiness in a bag; a giant, Sam’s Club bag of real chocolate chips! There was jumping and celebration in our house that day 
Saturday, November 26th, at 6 p.m. about 35 men, women and children from all over the world gathered at our home for a Thanksgiving potluck. Friends from
asked what Thanksgiving was all about. It was good to reflect on my country’s history and the reasons behind why we celebrate this day each year, besides being a good excuse to eat incredible food! 
It was so much fun sharing a feast together with new friends, but what made this evening really special was celebrating our thankfulness for the Giver of every good gift. God pours out numerous blessings every day over each one of his children and our spirits were uplifted and encouraged as we shared about these blessings with one another!
living God, he receives an answer.
The road to the land flowing with milk and honey was never intended to be paved with roses, marked by skipping or a walk of ease. The journey was always going to be a trek through the wilderness, but God wanted to bring his children to greater depths of intimacy with him by sustaining His people in that wilderness journey through utter dependency on Himself. Yet the children were not interested in the wilderness walk with God; they wanted ease, so they chose to break their covenant. They chose disobedience. In His divine love, God still did not abandon them but continued to lead them toward their promised land, yet in their effort to obtain “ease” they threw themselves into greater weariness and pain. For, not only did they still have to face the wilderness terrain, but now they were plagued by the famine of their heart and drought of their soul. They did not allow themselves to be fed and filled by God in the way he had originally intended.
We walked around the mall a bit then got ice cream. Steph asked Somali what else she was going to do that day for her birthday. She said that her and her mom were going to the Pagoda to offer sacrifices to the monks for good luck. Steph asked Somali if she knew who Jesus was. She said she did- that there was a big church by her house. Somali had been sharing with us about her frustrations with her boyfriend who claimed to “love” her, but she wasn’t feeling very loved by him. Steph was able to tell her that Jesus loves her so much more and affirm her value in Christ. Nothing forced, just natural conversation between girls about struggling to feel loved by men in their life- the same struggles talked about by girls all over the world. 
I believe that Jesus died to take on the punishment for my sins and through him I am now reconciled to God, my father. God has given me his Holy Spirit as a seal of my rescue and deliverance and eternal identity as His daughter. There is power in the spirit of God and that power is within me at all times. Belief in Jesus- salvation- produces living water that flows out of me. If water is living that means it is active, moving, getting other people wet! Everyone I come into contact with should be affected and touched by that living water. Every person should be stained by the life drops of Jesus coming out of me. Ministry is loving people here and now, where they are at simply by living life together.
The picture of ministry is not me up on my high ledge pulling the “needy” up, but walking side by side with the people around me- encouraging them to continue forward and sharing about the narrow road of joy and life. When we need to climb mountains on our road, ministry is me bending down so I can help push other people up. As Christians eager to serve, we often look for ways to “do ministry” as if we are looking for poor helpless people in the ditches that we can "rescue". I confess that I have been guilty of looking for that “poor bar girl”, “poor sex trade victim” that I can “rescue” through the power of Jesus. My heart’s desire is to “rescue” through bringing these women God’s light, God’s love, God’s life, and God’s salvation. I don’t think I have any more to offer than God, yet even though my heart’s desire is good, my mentality can become distorted and prideful, thinking that I’m pulling all of the lowly people out of their ditches in the name of God! 
We all laughed when we saw the people in the stadium begin to do the wave. Some things in sports don’t change no matter where you are around the world! It was the best wave I have ever been apart of, as the entire stadium all around was actively involved.