I ran track all four years in high school. I knew from the very beginning this would require a lot of training and conditioning. It was one thing for my coach to tell me the work out, “today you’re going to run 4- 400 meter sprints, 3-300 meter sprints, 4- 200 meter sprints, and 10- 100 meter sprints.” Ok, yeah, let’s do this! Running these sprints will build up my muscles and allow me to compete at my best ability! Next thing I know I’m sprinting down the track and wondering why in the world I would ever voluntarily choose to do track…a sport that revolves around running to exhaustion… nonstop! This is insanity and I chose it! Let me tell you that when our girls team stood on the podium at the state finals meet holding our first place trophy, I was thankful for every sprint! It had been a very painful process at times, but the victory was so much greater.

The victory of winning state lasted but minutes; the victory God wants to bring will last for eternity. Thejoy of holding the state championship trophy cannot compare to the joy of being made more and more like Christ. The reason is because God wants GOOD for His children. Being more like Christ will bring us the joy that we desperately crave and long for. Everyone in this world is seeking happiness of some sort- and ironically the happiness of being more like Christ is exactly what would meet every person’s deepest desire. However, the training and conditioning process often causes people to think “this is insane, why would I choose this” and drop out. “I’ll train for the race my own way!” Ok, good luck… there will not be victory in your “own way.” Only in God’s way.

Why does God want to dig up old hurts and painful issues in our lives? Because he LOVES us. “God’s love is not a pampering love; it’s a perfecting love” (James McDonald).

Elizabeth Elliot said, “Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering. God will not necessarily protect us- not from anything it takes to make us like His son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process” (Passion and Purity).

Ask God to show you skeletons in your life that need to be dug out. Ask him to show you wounds on your heart that have never fully healed. Come face to face with these issues and allow the Lord to begin his excavation process.

A word on beginning this process: I said that once my feelings began to get involved resistance came. I was tempted to quickly turn my feelings off and bury the issues. I want to share a few things that helped me and insights I’ve been learning about healing.

• There were several issues from when I was a little girl and growing up that I thought had already been resolved. I could see how God had worked through the painful experiences and had even protected me through these experiences as well. I resisted feeling hurt about them again because that seemed irrational to me- it was over and done with, why should I deal with it again? Wrong. The fact that the feelings were arising meant something had not been dealt with. I needed to start by validating the 5 year old me, 10 year old me, etc. Acknowledging that I had been wronged and hurt. Doing this allowed me to see how some of these same hurts had come up again in recent years of my life through new situations. A person hurt me in the same way I had been hurt when I was 10 and that triggered past insecurities and deepened my wound. I needed to dig to the root, even though I thought I had dealt with it, because it was now affecting my present relationships.
• Healing doesn’t come in isolation. Not only did I need to acknowledge these past issues and scars and feel the emotions from them, but I needed to allow others I trusted to enter into these places of brokenness with me. On Tuesday, that was my mom and sister-in-law. Listening to my hurts- hurting with me, crying with me, acknowledging the pain and speaking comfort and understanding into each situation. Even though they had nothing to do with the hurtful situations themselves, they helped breathe healing into them.
•  If you can- share your heart and brokenness with the person who hurt you- even if you’ve already talked it out with them in the past. Again, if it is still causing hurt then you must press on to a deeper root: the issue is not yet resolved. The point is not to make them feel guilty again about past issues or make them feel as if you are withholding forgiveness- they don’t need to feel guilty because Christ died for that sin and they are free from the weight of it. The point is to ask them to enter into that broken place again with you and really acknowledge and validate your hurt. To show that they hurt with you, not because they feel guilty, but because they love you so much and hurt when you hurt. Jesus said, “mourn with those who mourn… rejoice with those who rejoice.” (Romans 12:15) We can and should enter into places of the heart with people. The result of this kind of response is that “love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Healing is at work and the hurt of the sins truly melts away.

Lord, help me to embrace difficult feelings and emotions. May I allow you to bring healing to the broken places of my life as I walk with women in Cambodia on their journey of restoration and healing as well. Even the broken pieces of my life, when surrendered to you, Lord, can have life breathed into them- these broken pieces can be used to further Your kingdom and bring You glory.