Fear: If I love someone too much- God will take them away from me, in order to test my devotion to Him
Logical Jenny thinking: Good and bad happen in life. The more excited I am about the good, the worse I will feel when the bad comes. If I never climb too high then I can never fall too hard. If I am never too excited about anything then I won’t be too disappointed about anything.
Result: I am very suspicious of happiness, because it is fleeting, and we are commanded to be joyful always and expect trials and tribulations.
Truth: “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
- God gives good gifts
Truth: “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
- As I enjoy my relationship with God, my desires form more and more into His desires. His passions are my passions.
Why is it that when we hear the word “holy” we often think: strict, boring, not fun, takes too much hard work?
In her book, Passion and Purity, Elizabeth Elliot states that “Holiness means ‘wholeness.’ It comes from the same root as hale- you know, hale and hearty. Healthy. Fulfilled.”
I love that feeling after I have just eaten a delicious meal and I don’t feel overstuffed, rather I feel perfectly content and fulfilled. God wants me to be fulfilled in life, yet he, my father, knows exactly what will bring me true fulfillment.
Elizabeth says that “the problem starts when we make up our own minds what will give us happiness and then decide, if we don’t get exactly that, that God doesn’t love us.” Or in my case, that God loves me, but will take away anyone/thing that I may love which is not Him.
Truth: God wants me to be happy, but by his definition and not mine. (and that is not a trick to say God’s definition of happiness is actually synonymous with our definition of unhappiness and boredom)
Qualifying statement: Matthew 10: 37-39 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.
- There is no such thing as a part-time follower of Christ. I give him all of me or I have not given him any of me. Who am I living for?
I think the enemy began whispering lies into my ear by telling me that the only way I can prove I am living for God is to give up everyone I love and not be too attached to anyone. And the way to give up everyone I love is to not enjoy these relationships too much and not allow myself to be too happy in life. It’s like I had a “love” jar. When I was pouring love into people then I wasn’t pouring love into God and of course that is not ok! These are lies.
Truth: When I love my mom well, that is a way of pouring love out to God.
Truth: God wants me to enjoy the gifts and treasures He has given me!
Truth: God wants to be apart of every relationship and every experience in my life, no matter how “mundane”. He does not want to be a separate category. It makes God happy when I rejoice in the treasures he has given me.
Holiness= wholeness: fulfillment 
LOVE.
so proud of you!!
I like that you are reminding yourself of truths. It seems we have to be deliberate at that, and when we do, it seems to make us so much happier. That’s so for me.
Jenny you are awesome, awesome for doing this blog and awesome for being you.
I like the format you did this. it makes it look kinda like lab procedure 🙂
I like that “love jar” analogy. But while you’re doing a lot of pouring love on others, don’t forget to give God the chance to pour His love and presence back into you!! (Maybe through a little Jesus Culture? haha)
Love YOU!